The Change
by alphadine
Summary: How Jayne tries to weasel out of the more inconvenient aspects of baby-sitting...and fails. / Fluff-attack! You've been warned!


**Titel: **_The Change_**  
><strong>**Fandom: **_Firefly/Serenity_**  
>Pairing: <strong>_River/Jayne_**  
>Disclaimer: <strong>_not mine  
><em>**  
>Summery: <strong>_How Jayne tries to weasel out of the more inconvenient aspects of baby-sitting...and fails._

**A/N: **_Just some random, sugery fluff that will probably make your teeth ache. My muse was in a strange mood when she threw this plot bunny my way but I caught the poor rodent anyway because who am I to deny her demands ? ;) _

_- Oh, and contrary to the events of the BDM, Wash is still alive in this one.  
><em>

_Sincerest Thanks to GoB, for taking the time to dig through my mistakes and her much apreciated suggestions. If there are still mistakes left, they're my own. _

.+.+.+.+.

The wailing of a little child rang through the halls of the ship. River and Jayne had agreed to take care of Simon's and Kaylee's daughter while the doctor and his wife were on some sort of belated honeymoon.

It had been Jayne's turn to watch the baby for the time River was on duty at the bridge and so far everything had been quiet and shiny.

The little girl hadn't missed her parents yet, instead she seemed to be oddly dotty about her 'maybe-someday-uncle' Jayne.

At first Jayne hadn't been so excited about being the crush of a 6 month old baby-girl, but after he reluctantly accepted it, the two of them became nearly inseparable. But inseparable or not, there was one thing Jayne had always managed to dodge these last days.

"Jayne, what happened? Why is the baby crying?" River asked alarmed by the pitiful howl and turned around in her seat to see her lover entering the bridge, awkwardly carrying the wailing infant at arm's length.

He grumbled something like "Think she needs a change." while he turned his face away from the reason for the little girl's displeasure. The smell that emanated from the baby told River that Jayne's assumption was indeed correct.

The pilot lifted a brow. " You'd better change her diapers then," she shrugged before she returned her focus to the helm again.

_'Not this time.' _she thought. Every single time the baby had needed a change he'd managed to bring her back in time for River to have had the _honor _to diaper the child.

Shifting his weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other, the big man looked at River pleadingly and held the crying child into her direction. "Maybe you could…"

"Right now I have to fly this ship." River cut him short, unwilling to let him go through with this stunt again, "And besides, you agreed to babysit Simon's and Kaylee's daughter, too, while they're on vacation. Said we can do it together. For practice."

She scowled at Jayne's doubtful expression and pointed a finger at him. "Your words, not mine. She is your niece, too."

"Not yet." Jayne muttered, "And I never agreed on..." Again he was interrupted, this time by Wash, Serenity's first pilot, who entered the cockpit, holding his nose and eying the gun hand suspiciously.

"_Wo de tian a_! What's that smell? Jayne, is that you?"

The falsely accused glowered at the smaller man and wordlessly pointed his chin at the grousing infant dangling from his hands.

Wash nodded. "Yeah, I can smell some family resemblance here."

"Little skunk 'n' I ain't no blood relatives!" Jayne pointed out angrily, uncaring about the protesting wail of the child. "Must be the Tam in her!"

"I'd be careful with statements like that, buddy," Wash warned him, drawing in a sharp breath through his teeth as he pointedly looked at River who had turned around in her seat dangerously slow.

"If he doesn't like the Tam-smell, he better share his bed with a rose in the future!" She sneered, obviously fuming. The furious gaze of his girlfriend hit him as hard as the realization about what he'd just said.

"Uh-oh, trouble on collision course…. Impact in 3…2…"

"Shut it, Wash!" Jayne barked before he returned his rueful attention to his girlfriend.

"Aw, I'm sure it's just the male side, _bao__bei_. Ya know I didn't mean it like that. Jus' stupid words."

Jayne's sheepish attempt to mitigate his former allegation was ignored by River as well as his bumbling apology. She wordlessly stared out of the windshield and into the black in front of her.

_This promised to be highly entertaining_, Wash thought, as he seated himself into the co-pilot's chair. Since he had gotten himself a seat in the first row and nothing better to do either_,_ why shouldn't he enjoy how Jayne was putting his foot in his mouth again?

"Probably your sweet personality already rubbed off on the little'un."

Wash smirked at the big mercenary's discomfort, clearly unfazed by Jayne's murderous gaze, before he tipped a finger at his mouth and continued in mocked thoughtfulness. "And although it's not my field of expertise, shouldn't you hold little pee-wee somewhat different? Can't imagine this position to be very comfortable for such a little thing. At least she doesn't sound very happy."

"If yer such a smartass maybe you wanna hold 'n'change her." Jayne growled and turned his anger as welll as his howling and smelling load towards the pilot.

Wash just put him off with an amused grin. "Not my job. I'm off duty. And it's _your_ niece."

"Not yet," Jayne repeated grumpily as he finally took pity on the whining and kicking child and scooped her up in his arm. Carefully breathing through his mouth he walked over to River, hoping that maybe a whiff of the 'problem' might convince her to take the matter in her own hands, but the young woman stubbornly continued to ignore him.

"Gorramit, Cobb, go and change the baby already!" Wash groaned from behind. "I'm not sure how much longer the air filter system is able to compensate for this… this…" He waved a hand in front of his face in the fruitless attempt to get rid of the smell that pervaded the air.

Jayne ignored the pilot's mocking interjection and started another try to cast off his diaper duty.

"Maybe Wash could handle the ship, if you…"

"Oh, no! Not me. I won't fly." Wash piped up. "As I said: I'm off duty!"

Jayne sent another venomous glare over to the other man, but Wash just grinned sweetly in return.

Seeing his hopes dashed Jayne made a last-ditch effort to persuade River to undertake the diaper task. With all the desperation he could muster he pled:

"Aah, please, _àirén_, I could take care of the ship, while you…"

His suggestion was blocked like the ones before. River didn't even bother to turn her head when she deadpanned:

"You can't even fly a shuttle without breaking something."

An amused snort came from the the other side of the cockpit. Jayne growled at the sandy-haired quipster, he would deal with him later. For now it seemed to be wiser to grasp at the escape River had handed him on a plate.

"See, that's jus' what I meant!…I...I might break her, too. She's so small and…"

With angrily knitted brows River shot around in her seat.

"You won't break her. She's neither a shuttle nor made of glass." She pointed out before she took a slow calming breath. Her face and her voice softened a little as she added "And I know that your hands can be very delicate and gentle if needed."

"Gah! Please!" Wash yelped desperately and covered his ears. "Isn't it bad enough that my olfactory sense is endangered because you two can't agree on who's going to change little Stinky here; now you have to mess with my hearing, too?"

A small grin appeared on River's face as she watched the other man wince in his chair. She looked back at Jayne who stood there with a pitiful expression on his face; unsure how to handle the little child.

"Think of her as a weapon." She suggested and on Jayne's disbelieving look she explained, "It's like cleaning a weapon. Disassemble, clean, oil, re-assemble. You can do that?"

"Disassemble a child?" The bewildered shout of both men resounded through the bridge.

River rolled her eyes. "Just her romper, dummies!"

While Wash let out a relieved breath, Jayne's sigh sounded defeated.

"Fine, okay, think I can try _that_."

He set path to the dorms but turned around once more before he left the bridge.

"But if I break somethin' or she complains, it ain't me responsible. I warned you."

River sent him a reassuring smile. "You won't break her, _baobei_, I trust you to handle this _delicate_ matter just fine."

He quirked a suspicious eyebrow at her statement but then turned again and left the two pilots behind. On the stairway down from the bridge he could hear their muted giggles. With a huff he scooped the little girl higher that was still sobbing quietly.

"You ain't gonna become like yer auntie, will ya?" he asked the baby as he rocked her gently in his arms to calm her. "You saw what she jus' did ta me? Bein' all ma-ni-poo-lativ with her sweet words and fraternizing with _Uncle Wash_, so she didn't need to change you? That's jus' bad, ya know. Ya jus' don't do that!"

The infant stopped sobbing and looked up at him with big eyes as he bowed his head and planted a soft kiss onto the child's head.

"But yer Uncle Jayne will take care of you, _xingan,_ when others ain't caring about yer troubles." He cooed on. "Ya know, I take care of troubles; that's my job, an' now I'm gonna take care of yers." He paused a second and sighed silently. "Or at least I'll try."

They reached the dorms and Jayne realized that talking about taking care of matters was one thing but the implementation of said things was something entirely different. He stood and thought for a moment.

"_Like cleaning a weapon.__" _He remembered River's words.

He could do this, he reassured himself; he just had to work out a plan. What was the first thing he did when he was going to clean his girls? Getting everything he needs for that together.

Jayne grinned. "_Y__up__,__ this could work!__"_

He put the baby back into her crib and rummaged the room for a bowl and some rags, a towel, diapers, powder and anything else he thought might be needed, filled the bowl with warm water and returned to the child.

"_'kay, step two: __Disassemble_."

Jayne blew out a breath and lifted the child out of the crib. Laying her on the towel he'd spread on the bed he fumbled with the small buttons of her romper. This was so much easier on a grown up woman! And so much more fun, too!

"Who picked this crap clothing?" he muttered, "Yer Pa? Lemme tell ya, all these buttons are way too small an' fancy. And the colors are ridiculous. Pink? Com'on! That's no decent color for a girl out here in the black. And what are those things supposed to be? Elephants? Dinosaurs?" Jayne snorted deprecatingly. "When we hit dirt again, I'm gonna get ya some nice cargos'n shirts. Promise!"

With another disapproving sound he tossed the hideous romper aside.

"Time for the hard part." Grunting he scrunched his face as the stench from the diaper increased when he opened it.

"_Tianna_!" he gasped and held his breath. Quickly he removed the diaper and tossed it into a lidded bucket, hastily kicking the lid close again and keeping a booted foot on it, just in case.

"Ya know ya can kill Reavers with that?" he asked through clenched teeth as he carefully removed his foot from the bucket lid while he pointed with his head to the closed bucket. The infant cooed in response and kicked joyfully as he cleaned her with a wet rag

"Guess that's jus' another thing runnin' in yer family." With a contented hum, he dried her up again.

After two failed attempts to put her back in diapers, he finally succeeded and satisfied surveyed the result of his doings.

"Not too bad, eh?" he winked at the little girl and tickled her side. A squeaking laugh was his reward. "Yer ticklish, huh? Just like your Aunt River. Ya know what else she likes?"

Not expecting any answer he bowed down and blew a raspberry on the little girl's tummy. The baby shrieked in delight.

"Ah, guessed you'd like that, too." He lifted his head a bit and grinned at the squirming and laughing infant.

"You girls are sooo predictable." He shook his head in mocked disapproval before lifting the little child up into his arms."Again?" He pressed his mouth on the baby's belly once more.

"I wonder who of you has more fun with that."

At River's amused voice he spun around and a huge smile split his face.

"Jealous? Offered ya to change her ... Ouch!" he carefully removed the baby's pulling hand out of his hair."...but ya had _more important things _to do. Like flying a space ship."

He laid the girl down again and scowled at the ridiculous selection of clothes he found for her in the drawers, but for lack of anything more to his own likings he huffed and started to redress her.

River watched him quietly.

"You really like it, don't you?" she asked after he finished dressing the baby. Pondering, he looked from his lover to the infant in his arms and nodded.

"Yeah, feels nice."

His quiet confession felt even nicer to her. She stepped closer to the two and lightly stroked over the baby's head.

"Can you imagine having some of your own?" She didn't look up at her question.

Sensing her tension he shifted the baby into one arm and lifted River's chin to meet her eyes.

"Maybe. Someday." he said earnestly and kissed her softly.

"If.." he continued lightly after breaking the kiss, "...I find the right woman." River's mouth fell open in surprise at his teasing.

"What? You … you…!" she struggled for words.

Laughing he dodged her halfhearted attempts to hit him.

"Me?" he mocked "Who refused ta help me with this little'un? Huh? Who mani-poo…tricked me into changin' her with sweet words? The one who jus' forgot to mention that her _I-have-to fly-this-gorram-ship-shift_ would be over any minute?"

She stopped chasing after him and stood with her hand on her hip and glared at him.

Unimpressed Jayne turned to the child on his arm. "Ya see that, right? Yer Aunt tried to hit me! Yer my witness now." Though his face was serious he couldn't hide the twitching of his mouth as said to the child with feigned desperation. " Can't have kids with such a sneaky person!"

"Fine." River gave in and lowered her head to hide her own grin she couldn't suppress at his ridiculous play behind the curtain of her hair, "I could have told you that I'd be off duty soon. But I've seen how insecure you've been with the baby. I wanted to give you a little more confidence…."

Jayne laughed out loud.

"As if…" he snorted and turned to the child once more. "See that, she's doin' it again….jus' because she's better with them words than me, but I won't fall for that no more! Nope!"

He grinned over to River again who watched him playing with the child; she was now smiling openly

"Ya have to come up with somethin' better than that to make it up to me!"

"Like what?"

Jayne scrunched his face as if he was thinking hard. "Well, for starters, you could bring this bucket to the bio hazard container." He pointed at the bucket in question and grinned sardonically at River's grossed out face.

"Don't be shy, _baobei_, I survived it an' so will ya. It'll give ya a little more con-fe-dance, believe me. You can meet us in the kitchen after yer done, 'cause li'll Miss an' me gonna have a fine grub now, ain't we?"

He continued cooing and muttering silly things to the baby while they headed for the kitchen, leaving a baffled River and a smelling bucket behind.

"Has Uncle Jayne told ya yet how he got his favorite gun? Okay, it was a while ago when…"

Silently laughing River picked up the bucket and listened how Jayne's voice faded as he walked down the hallways of _Serenity._


End file.
